Monday, April 27, 2009

THE CANADIAN FURLAN'S STORY

The Canadian Furlan, Doriano (left), and brother Gianpaolo (Paul) under family sign - Italy.

IVANO SAYS: Many of my LNostra-Costa 'Blaggatori' have asked me, "Who is this Canadian Furlan who knows so much about Italian History?" Well, Doriano, who is a teacher in Canada, has written a short bio about himself and his family. Thanks Doriano.

THE STORY OF THE CANADIAN FURLAN

I was born in Canada 1956. My parents immigrated to Canada in 1952, just after they were married. My Father left first and then my Mother joined my Dad almost a year later. I was the only child for a long time when my brother Paul was born in 1965, and then my sister came much later in 1969.


My parents were not typical Italian (Furlan) immigrants because they both had a trade. In fact many of my parents’ family and friends discouraged my parents from immigrating and instead asked them to weather out the storm that Italy and most of post war Europe was experiencing economically. My Father, an auto-body repairman’ was involved in a business partnership. He and another fellow Furlan owned a body shop in Udine. It was established during the war and continued until in 1950 - 51.

The partnership was eventually dissolved and my father attempted to do it on his own. However, due to issues beyond his control, Dad was not able to make the business viable. He became discouraged and originally decided to immigrate to Australia. The only reason he changed his mind (to immigrate to Canada instead) was due to the fact that he had a cousin living in Welland, Canada. His cousin Maria Degano had been living in Welland since the 1930's. Even so, Dad and Mom decided to immigrate for only 5 years, planning to make some money and then returning back to Friuli.

As I mentioned I was born in 1956 and our first trip back to Friuli was in 1960. We stayed in Friuli for 3 months. My father looked around and decided maybe we could stay permanently. However, Italy was still economically recuperating from WW II. Things were not yet good enough to stay. My Dad could earn more money working as an employee in Canada then working on his own in Italy. So back to Canada!

It was difficult for my parents because there were only cousins on my Father's side living in Canada. My Mother's brother and my Dad's brother came to Canada for short periods; however, my Mother's brother returned to Friuli. There he found a bride who did not want to leave Friuli. (To this day my, Uncle Luciano regrets not returning to Canada. He always says the life in Canada is much better than in Friuli.)

My Father's brother Giuliano, also came to Canada and did extremely well; however, he became severely ill with an incurable liver decease. He was given 3 months to live (he was 33 years old). My Father convinced his brother to return to Friuli where he lived exactly 3 months, passing away in November 1960. (This was during the time that my family was visiting Friuli.)

After my Uncle’s death, my parents decided to return to Canada. I was only 4 yrs old at the time, but remember it like it was yesterday. My parents worked away loving Canada, but their heart was still in Friuli. My father returned to Friuli in 1963 to look after his Mother who was very ill. He spent another 3 months there with his mother taking her to many places. While there my Father purchased a very large piece of property in Campoformido, Udine. His intention was that one-day we would all return to Friuli and build his Autobody Shop and home in Campoformido.

All he and my Mother would talk about was one day returning to Friuli. In the process they prepared me for the eventual trip back to Friuli. They always spoke to me in correct grammatical Italian. They even sent me to an Italian school on Saturdays. Meanwhile they spoke in Furlan when speaking to one another. As a consequence, I can speak and write Italian fluently and also Furlan.

The years passed, and in 1965 my brother Paul was born. I was the one who chose the name Paul, because the Beatles were popular at that time; I was torn between choosing John (after John Lennon) or Paul (after Paul McCartney). At this point, my Mother took over and said, “We will call him Gianpaolo”. I told Mom that it had to be a North American derivative name since we lived in Canada. I suggested the name John Paul. She said, “No! We are going back to Friuli so it must be a Furlan name...an Italian name!” Thus, my brother was named Gianpaolo; however, in the end, I had my way. I proceeded to call him Paul and I always have called him Paul. Guess what? The name Paul has stuck with him... all these years. And he still goes by Paul.

After my brother Paul was born, my parents really started to get serious about their plans to return to Friuli. One day they finally decided that they were indeed going to leave Canada. Oh Boy! That really hit me. I wasn't so sure that I wanted to leave for Friuli. I was 11 years old at the time and I just finished grade 5 and was going into the 6th grade. I had a lot of friends. I started to feel a little negative about the whole thing! I really had doubts about leaving Canada and all my friends.

After they had decided (in 1967) to move back to Friuli, my parents went through a hectic six months of preparing for the voyage. They had to sell off all their furniture and other things that they could not take with them. We even had to move in with friends for a month prior to leaving. There was a lot of confusion. Even my parents were starting to doubt their decision to move back to Fruili; however, late August 1967 the move was finally made.

Once back in Friuli, we moved into my Father’s birth home in Pasian di Prato Udine. (Pasian is about 5 kilometers outside the City of Udine.) The house my father was born in was shared with Dad's older brother Pascul. Well things did not look so good for me there. My friends were not around and everything was so different. Also my parents could not get used to being back in Friuli. Yes, it was certainly nice to see the family and being close to them and I did make friends who, by the way, I am still in contact with today. But the economics in Italy / Friuli were nothing like in Canada/North America. Things seemed very antiquated! My Father attempted to set up his business again; however, there were too many obstacles (a lot of red tape, too much bureaucracy, etc.). Also, the old house we were living in at the time was not very comfortable. Believe it or not, there was no bathroom inside that house. We had to go outside to an out- house to take care of business.

Meanwhile things were not going so great for me at school. They told me that my Italian was not up to standard, so they placed me three grades back. This was a lot of baloney because I could speak and write perfect Italian. However, the school knew my father was from Canada and they thought he had plenty of money. They wanted to send me to this tutorial school (for a fee of course) that was affiliated with some of the teachers. It really was quite political.
At about this time, I ended up getting really sick. I contracted Spinal Meningitis and was hospitalized for 3 months. (At one point, I almost did not make it.) While recuperating in a hospital in Udine, I actually was quarantined due to the nature of my virus. I was restricted to being seen by adults only.

While I was still in hospital, my father came by one day and told me he was going to return to Canada and set things up for us to all return to Canada. Wow! We were going back home to Canada. I was extremely happy for myself, but also for my parents. Both my Father and Mother experienced considerable stress in the one-year we spent in Friuli. They found it extremely difficult to repatriate themselves after living away for 15 years. They often said, “We have become Canadians and we actually prefer the way of life in Canada.”

I could not believe it! After all those years of preparing me for the “wonderful” life in Friuli, we were going back to Canada. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) Friuli was a total disappointment. However, I could see that my parents’ minds were now at ease. They at least made the attempt to return even if it didn’t work out. To their credit, they had the courage to admit their mistake and placed closure on the idea of returning to Friuli.

Well it really does not end there because my parents, brother, sister and I have returned back to Friuli many times throughout the years. We never really lost touch. We keep our traditions and always to this day my parents’ hearts are still in Friuli. However they also will say without any disrespect to their Friuli, that Canada is now their home because it provided the financial path they were seeking for themselves and all of us as well. My parents had good foresight and became Canadian Citizens back in 1957 after five years in Canada.

Of further note: my brother Paul and Sister Joanne speak Italian but not as well as I do and unfortunately they do not speak Furlan. My sister responds to my Mother and Father in English, my brother in Italian / English. As for me, I respond strictly in Italian and when I want to emphasis things I speak to my parents in Furlan!

My sister Joanne who will be turning 40 this year has two boys, her youngest, Elio, is only 4-months old. This has kept my parents young because my Mother loves children. So my sister has a young family and now my oldest daughter Celina who will be turning 26 in a few weeks will be marrying! Genna my youngest daughter will be matron of honor. My brother Paul who lives in Toronto has two children and is also a teacher.

My wife Suzanne is French Canadian; she is bilingual and speaks fluently in French. This is a story for another time, because my mother and father in law both speak French. They speak limited English because they were born in the province of Quebec, which is a French-speaking province. As you can imagine they also had a lot of hardships when they moved from Quebec to Ontario (an English speaking province). The language and customs were very different and they also went through many years of hardships wanting to return back home to their land of birth.

Well, Ivano, mi caro amico Furlan, that’s my life in a nutshell, or is it a castagna. As you always say: sempre avanti.

ciao e mandi,
Doriano
The Canadian Furlan





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13 comments:

Ivano Franco Comelli said...

That's quite a story, Doriano. Very common for immigrants to come to North America to make some money and then want to go back to the old country where they were born and raised. I believe my father Bronco was of that mind. Come over, make some money and then go back. Unfortunately (or as you say perhaps fortunately) things aren't quite the same when they do go back. It takes them a while to realize that they have changed or perhaps that their adopted country has changed them.

What ever thoughts my father had to return to Friuli were "zapped" by Valentina, my mother.
"Our sons were born in America", she would tell him, "They are American! We stay here in America! Hai capito! ivno

Canadian Furlan said...

Ivano Mio Caro Amico
Thanks for the plug on your famous Blogga!! It never fails no matter how many immigrants I speak with they all have their hearts back home in their place of birth. But like Valentina their head is in their new adopted country. And having had first hand experience no matter how much the heart tugs one must keep their head focused. The memories are vast but the reality is and will remain we have it very good here in North America !! The United States and Canada. That's why so many people from all over the world are still to this very day trying to make it their home.
Have a good one.

Ciao e Mandi

Il Ferruccio said...

Ivano says: Received this from my cousin Ferruccio di Nimis-Ramandolo, Friuli:

Molto bella la storia di Doriano Friulano/canadese/italiano

Ferruccio

Reno said...

Ivano says: Received this from Reno,who was born in Friuli and also came over to America with his parents at a very young age.

I remember that my parents when they would get together with all the other Furlian's, would start the same old conversation,

"When we get at that age lets go back to the old country".

I was about 14 at the time and I had this great fear that this was really a possiblity. How would I adjust to a new world and culture.



(LNC: In Reno's case, his parents Evelina and Guido, decided not to go back. it did not happen. Evelina age 96, is still living and residing in l'america.)

ivano said...

Reno's comment made me remember that a Friulian Couple that we both knew would,as Reno says start the same old conversation, by saying: "When we save enough money and retire we will return to Friuli." In their case they actually did return, however, their two sons were grown at the time and remained in America, (although like Doriano)they have travelled many times back to Friuli. As I recall squabbles (both inside and outside of the family) over the Italian Property they acquired kind of put a 'cloud' on their dream of a 'wonderful' life in Friuli.
ivnoI

Mr. Kotter said...

Ivano
This message is for your cousin Ferruccio back in Nimis Friuli. Grazie per i vostri complimenti. La prossima volta che vengo in Friuli vengo a Nimis a trovarti. Mio padre parla speso di Nimis specialmente durante la ultima guerra quando i Tedeschi si ritiravano grandi fuochi per tutto !! Faciamo un tai di Ramandolo !!!

Just a few words to Ferruccio in Italian thanking him for his compliments on my Bio !! My next visit to Friuli I will plan to visit Ferruccio for a nice glass of the famous Ramandolo !!!

Ciao e Mandi

Doriano

Carolina Cariola said...

Oh Doriano, what a wonderful story. I actually had tears in my eyes when reading about you being sick and almost dying. You know I actually had a Canadian Boyfriend once. He always talked about becoming a Monty. I always dreamed of him being dressed in his Monty Uniform singing the "Indian Love Song" to me. Things really didn't work out. I wonder where he is today. Carrie
P.S. You and your brother look so hansome in the photograph.

Canadian Furlan said...

Thank You for the compliments Carolina !! The photo taken with my Brother Paul is in Friuli in the Carnic Alps North West of Nimis near the town of Villa Santina. That particular day we went for an excursion to see where our Great Grandfather Giacomo Fabris was born. Giacomo was born in 1856 in a small town in the area known as Carnia. Giacomo moved down to Udine so he could provide for his family. He made linen and things with his loom he operated in his home. As we were headed towards the Austrian Border my father who was with us said we are very near the river (more like a stream) Degano. And sure enough there it was, dryer than a bone. You can also see from the photo my mother walking behind my brother and I.
Ciao e Mandi
Doriano

Saratoga Sam said...

Great story, Canadian Furlan. Language and customs certainly had a hold on many of the immigrants. My parents were the same way. They always wanted to go back to the old country. They talked about the "better way of life" back in the old country. They kept saying that the Americans did not know how to really live life to the fullest. When they did finally go back, they found [similar to your parents] that they had grown accustom to the American way of life and could not adjust to the ways of the old country. They soon came back to stay. SS

Canadian Furlan said...

Thanks for your feed back Saratoga Sam!! This is synonymous with all immigrants, regardless of their country of origin. I remember asking my parents if things were so much better in Italy (Friuli) why did you decide to leave? This question always required them to think prior to answer. Their answer was always free from emotions and came from the brain rather than the heart. "We left for a better life and being able to provide for the family". I cannot relate to what our parents' endured, leaving their land of birth not because they wanted to, but because of the basic necessities of life. I recall an old friend of the family who was from Italy (Friuli), who has passed away now, and described how life was in Friuli in between the two world wars. More specifically during the second world war many Italians suffered extensively because they were not only fighting an enemy but also their own Dictatorship that was strangling them. And after the fall of Fascism and Nazism and finally the end of World War II he said the Italians were finally freed. Yes free, "free to leave" ! Primarily because the country was in complete ruins both economically and socially. As I mentioned in my story, the year I spent in Italy (Friuli) was an excellent learning experience for me (at the time I did not think so). I realized the reasons why my parents and millions of others left their country to seek a better life. I saw this and experienced it. Many people were still talking about the world war like it happened yesterday, and here it was 1967. The Italian economy was still reeling from the war, the democratic system like we know it here in North America was not yet set as a way of life in Italy. I must say today in Italy they are much improved from when I lived there in 1967. All my relatives live very well and have all the home conveniences. But our standard here in North America is still much better. I make it a point to continuously remind my parents, especially my Father (because it was his idea to immigrate )that they had extrodinary vision and courage to leave their country for the benefit of all of us. As I said to Ivano as well, many many times, Bronco and Valentina (Ivano's parents) were further advanced becuase Bronco saw the writing on the wall back in the early 1920's when Benito Mussolini came (Bullied)his way to power. My parents were raised entirely under a dictatorship, and to this day you can see that the discipline they learned has remained with them all these years.
I can carry on with this one for another few pages.
Take care Sam and thank you again.

Ciao e Mandi
Doriano

Anonymous said...

Canadian Furlan mentions his great grandfather Giacomo Fabris. He might want to visit www.fabrisgenealogica.it.

Ivano Franco Comelli said...

Dear Annoymous: I sent your comment to the Canadian Furlan. The Link that you suggest does not work for him. I tried the same Link and it didn't work for me. I do appreciate your comment. Do you have any suggestions. Sempre Avanti, Ivno

Anonymous said...

The internet is not very forgiving. Going back to locate the Fabris blog, I finally found it but only after I discovered that I had left off a dash (.www.fabris-genealogia.it.)My buddy always bragged that outside of France,the Furlans owned that last name. I was surprised to learn that the Veneti had him beat three to one. Sorry for my error with the blog name. Hope this works for you.